A Minnesota pastor has spoken out about his polyamorous relationship with two younger men. Bryan Demeritte lives on a ten-acre farm in Waseca with 38-year-old Deron Demeritte and 24-year-old Joshua Rodriguez, whom the 52-year-old describes as his “two husbands.” In a recent interview with a Minnesota journalist, Demeritte acknowledged that he has a sexual relationship with both men, but they do not have relations with each other.
The pastor, who works as a Unitarian preacher and seminary professor, is legally married to Deron Demeritte but also claims he has been in a “committed relationship” with Rodriguez for more than five years. They live in a five-bedroom ranch surrounded by vineyards, corn fields, an apple orchard, and dozens of chickens and geese. The trio say they are the happiest they’ve ever been and are largely left alone by neighbors in the small community.
While polyamorous relationships are still extremely rare, figures show they are not as uncommon as they once were. According to data from the Kinsey Institute, around one out of nine Americans has at one time been involved in a polyamorous relationship. Additionally, one in five has been in a non-monogamous romance. The Institute’s figures also reveal that most Americans do not approve of such relationships, with six of seven people viewing them negatively.
In Europe, the practice is less common, with just 2% of British people describing themselves as polyamorous. A YouGov survey in the UK last year revealed that, like Americans, most Brits (82%) disapprove of polyamory and would not participate in such relationships. Nevertheless, a non-monogamous dating app, which would not reveal exact details about its customers, said its user numbers grew 300% between 2022 and 2023.
Proponents argue that polyamory allows people to have a variety of relationships without engaging in dishonesty and “cheating.” Many also argue that monogamous relationships often end in divorce and that such unions are not “natural.” Opponents, however, say intimate and fulfilling bonds cannot exist between more than two people and that being one of several partners is both sexually and emotionally unsafe. Some people believe that being just one of a number of lovers significantly damages self-esteem and counters the natural human need for secure bonds.
